Worth it

While I was pregnant, the comments and questions that I would encounter from people on a daily basis became quite predictable. So predictable that I toyed with the idea of making a sign to put up at work that would cover everything in the conversation that I knew would ensue:

Yes, I have a big pregnant belly. I'm __ weeks. Due January 31. Yes, first one. Boy. Samuel. 

It became a familiar script that I would repeat at least 15 times a day. Now I've started to notice a pattern with what people say when they see Samuel, except most of them I don't mind. These are the top four things people remark about day to day :)

1.)    His eyes. Almost without fail, this is the first thing people comment on. This is also the most common—okay, okay ONLY—feature that people say looks like me. My eyes are definitely not that blue so maybe they mean the shape? Or maybe everyone just feels bad that my son doesn’t resemble me so they’re throwing me a bone ;)

2.)    His height. Samuel is in the 96% for height. He is one tall baby! People always think he’s older than he is. We make an odd pair since I’m so short, and if someone comments on his height, their next comment usually is: “He must have a tall dad.”

3.)    His mouth. Random strangers are always exclaiming what a big smile he has and what full lips he has (that sounded like Little Red Riding Hood in my head), but anyone that knows Michael knows just where Samuel got his infectious smile and full lips.

4.)    His head. This one drives me insane and I try my best not to go snappy-mama-bear on them. Samuel’s head shape is a lot shorter than when he was first born, but it’s still pretty long. He had a hard time getting up over my pelvic bone during delivery and there was a lot of back and forth as I pushed for an hour and 20 minutes.  Tough journey for the little guy. 

A few weeks ago, Samuel got sick for the first time. It started out as a low-grade fever, refusal to eat, lethargy, sore throat and then he started getting red bumps on his hands, arms, feet and legs. Some of the spots turned into blisters. I brought him into the doctor and he said Samuel had hand-foot-and-mouth. It's viral so there's no antibiotics and we just had to wait it out. It's also highly contagious but the doctor assured me that it's extremely rare for adults to get. Well, tell that to the mama who caught it. Seriously, PSA: If your children are sick, keep them away from others! Samuel and I both got cabin fever staying home for two weeks while we waited until we weren't contagious but we did it because I do not want anyone to have to go through that!

In other news, we found out Samuel does NOT like fireworks. Michael worked his company's firework show in Idaho Falls on Independence Day so we had our own little fireworks after. We first showed Samuel the sparklers and he really couldn't care less. He would glance and then just look at other things outside. He was far more interested in looking at the person holding the sparkler than looking at the sparkler itself. Then we lit a small fountain and once it started popping Samuel startled and immediately had a meltdown.  

We love our little firecracker! I didn't realize Samuel was high maintenance at first because he's the only baby I've ever had and I just assumed his temperament was normal. It wasn't until we started socializing him with babies his age that I started to notice a difference. At first I was just thinking "Man, their baby is so chill; he just falls asleep anywhere as soon as he gets tired." Then we hang out with another baby and I think, "Man, their baby is mellow; she is totally content just sitting there and staring off into space." Time after time it was the same story: Their baby is calm, their baby is calm, their baby is calm too. Eventually I had a "wait a minute..." moment and realized that it wasn't everyone else's babies that were mellow, it was Samuel that wasn't. He just is high maintenance--like me as my brother, Paul, jokes. 

Often if he's in a fussy mood people will try to offer advice on what's wrong although really they have no idea. It can be really frustrating because really people just don't understand. And how could they? If they have an easy baby--or easy children-- then it's hard to understand a baby that is in need of constant change and interaction, a baby that is fussy because he's tired but always battles hard going to sleep. A lot of the time he is quite happy and you can get him to smile and laugh at the drop of a hat. All babies get fussy sometimes, he just needs more catering than most. Really it just depends on the day. Or the hour ;)

We do have some friends whose daughter is just a few weeks older than Samuel and her temperament is very much like his. It is so nice to talk with them because they genuinely understand and that is such a great feeling!! I know I bring some of the work upon myself because of my choice in parenting style since I personally am not a cry-it-out mom. I'm fully aware, especially with Samuel's temperament, that it would make my life so much easier if I were a cry-it-out mom and would just stick my son in the back room and close the door while he cried and cried. But I'm not, especially when they're younger than a year.

There is a quote by Lyle J. Burrup that I often think of as my arms ache and I'm emotionally drained from soothing an unhappy baby for hours on end: "Anything of great worth often requires great sacrifice." And oh how he is worth it!!

 

Samuel Leonardo: Birth and first month

Disclaimer: In case you missed the title, this blog talks about Samuel's birth. If you don't want to read about childbirth, I'm sure there are plenty of funny memes on your news feed to keep you entertained. Otherwise, read on ;)

At my 36 week ultrasound, Samuel measured 5 lbs 13 ounces (49%) and so my doctor didn't see any medical need to induce early. However, since I had gestational diabetes he didn't want me to go too far past my due date. So my due date was Friday Jan. 31 and my induction was scheduled for the day after, Sat. Feb. 1. Something I learned quickly is that once you become pregnant, people suddenly think it's a green light to offer their personal opinion on every choice you have to make(and I've discovered now that Samuel's born, it's even more so.) That being said, some people are against induction but I have no problem with it; I think modern medicine is amazing and without it my life wouldn't be the same. Along with that, I have had several key experiences that caused me to have a lot of trust in my doctor and if he didn't think I should go very far past my due date, then by golly, I agree ;)  (The irony is that it didn't really matter anyway)

So the night before the induction, I was so nervous/excited I could hardly sleep. Imagine a little kid trying to go to sleep on Christmas Eve. Now multiply that by about 1 million. I couldn't wait to meet my baby boy!!!! I was supposed to call the hospital at 5am for confirmation. I called and the nurse told me to call back at 10:00. So I did and she told me that four other women had come into the hospital in spontaneous labor and I would have to call back at 1:00 to see if they could fit me in. At 1:00 I called back and they said the labors were still ongoing and they rescheduled my induction for Tuesday Feb. 4th. I thanked the nurse, hung up and bawled. And bawled. I was so excited to meet my son and now I had to wait three more days. Was I over reacting? Of course, but try telling that to a 40 week pregnant woman with crazy hormones. To make it worse, when I stopped by the grocery store later that day I ran into someone I knew and they said "You STILL haven't had your baby??" Towards the end of my pregnancy my sister-in-law asked if I felt like I wanted to punch everyone and I've got to admit that day in the grocery store it took some restraint ;)

So that night I'm laying in bed trying to fall asleep and without a warning, my water breaks at 11:30pm. I call Michael's name and he must've known what was up because he came dashing in from the other room. I was oddly calm as we got ready to go since I'd had our hospital bags back for over a month. Michael was scurrying around in a frenzy even though there was nothing to do but get in the car. It was a pretty comical soon-to-be-dad moment. And on the drive to the hospital we're cracking jokes that the nurses would think we were faking it like "Emily Johnson? Aren't you the girl who called in three times today?" So on the day I was supposed to be induced, Samuel decided to start making his way into the world. I guess he didn't like taking no for an answer ;)

I gave birth to Samuel without an epidural, so you can imagine the fun times we had that night ;) I know you're thinking "Wait, wait, I thought you were all for modern medicine?" And I am. I think it's amazing and going in to the hospital, I wasn't entirely sure I was going to have a natural birth. I told the nurses that's what I wanted but I would let them know if I changed my mind. Growing up, my mom was always telling us how bad epidurals were(she gave birth to eight children. Amazing!) but really my decision had nothing to do with what she or anyone else wanted. It was solely my choice and maybe with my other labors I will have an epidural, who knows. Do you want to know what really pushed me to decide to go natural? It's pretty funny: I was watching What to Expect When You're Expecting and I cried when the character without an epidural gave birth to her daughter. Yes, crazy pregnancy hormones strike again. But it was then that I thought that I wanted to experience the pure joy and relief at the end of a painful labor and hold the baby that I had worked so hard to bring into this world. Silliest reason ever? Probably, but there it is.

So, during labor, I had Michael write down what was happening and at what time, because I sure wouldn't be able to remember all this information otherwise!At my 38 week appointment I was 2 cm dilated and 75% effaced. When I went into the hospital I was 4 cm and 100% effaced. They hooked me up to a monitor and my contractions were about 2-3 minutes apart but relatively no pain. In fact, I had been periodically experiencing the same sensation for a few weeks but never even recognized them as contractions. The next three hours passed and Michael and I watched a Jim Gaffigan stand-up comedy DVD that we had borrowed from a friend. Towards the end, my lower back started to ache and I just assumed my body was uncomfortable sitting in the same position so when the nurse came back in I asked if I could be unhooked and walk around for a while. By 3:00am I was having normal contraction pain and continual increasing pain in my lower back. I asked the nurse about it and she said it sounded like I was having a lot of back labor and it was unfortunate because it was one of the most uncomfortable ways to labor. Lucky me.

By 5:00am I was having painful contractions and as I was leaning over throwing up into the toilet, I thought of Mary--the mother of Jesus--and how I could now truly understand how sad it was that no one would let her in while she was in labor and riding on a donkey. Random thought, I know.

At 5:20am I was 8 cm dilated. Then I labored for an hour with painful contractions. Checked again at 6:20? Still 8 cm. Let me tell you, that has to be the most discouraging thing. I was thinking, "Are you kidding me? All that pain with NO progress?" Soon after, my body started uncontrollably shaking. The nurse assured me it was normal but it's a weird feeling to not be in control of what you're body is doing. I threw up a few more times and by 7:15 I was 9 1/2 cm dilated. At this point, the contractions were, to put it gently, excruciating. I would squeeze Michael's hand through each one and he later told me that at one point his thumb was purple lol. I was pushing for a little over an hour and at one point, Samuel's heart rate was really low so they put me on oxygen. After 9 1/2 hours of labor, the sweet little guy was born at 8:53am. He weighed 7 lbs 13 ounces, 20 inches long. Of all days, he was born Feb. 2, which is always Groundhog Day and was also Superbowl Sunday. He is the Seahawks' lucky charm.

Whew, did you make it through that novel? :) Samuel is now 1 month old! We won't have his current height/weight measurements until his 2 month appointment. He likes being held constantly--especially with his head against your chest, hearing loud white noise(vacuum, blender, faucet), listening to music and is captivated by Dr. Seuss' artwork. He also likes his binky--Thank Goodness since we waited until he was a month to give it to him. He does NOT like being naked at all which includes getting dressed, diaper changes and baths. He also doesn't like having his nails trimmed but I quickly learned to do that while he's sleeping ;) He is already very vocal, can roll to his side if you put him on his back, holds up his neck for quite some time and is starting to show little smiles. We love our little Samuel Leonardo! <3

A Time to Nest

Now that school and the holidays are over, work is the only slight hindrance in my nesting preparations for Samuel. But since I've been so busy, I haven't made a SINGLE blog post throughout the whole pregnancy!
So, now with only 5 weeks to go, let me start at the beginning...

Michael and I decided to try for a baby around our two year anniversary. When I suspected I was pregnant, I kept it quiet until I was able to check and be sure.

Pregnant!!

At the beginning of the month when we decided to try, I custom-designed a onesie at CafePress and had it shipped so I could give it to Michael to tell him. So the morning I tested positive I pulled out the wrapped onesie and put it in a gift bag. I asked him to grab me something out of the car and when he came back I presented him with the gift. He sat down curiously and started to open it and pulled out the wrapped onesie.
He felt the small package and asked, "You got me socks?"
Then he opened it and unfolded the onesie and you could see it register on his face as his eyes darted over to me and his jaw dropped just like in the cartoons and he asked, "You're pregnant!? Whaaat?!"

And I got the whole thing on video since I turned on the hidden the camera when he went out to the car. ...But somehow that file seems to be missing. I probably had pregnant-brain and deleted it from the camera thinking I had saved it on the computer. Seriously a bummer because his reaction was pretty priceless.

We decided to wait until I was in my second trimester to announce my pregnancy. We went to Walla Walla to visit both families and tell them. We wrapped the picture above with us holding the onesie for Michael's mom and put it in a frame that said Baby. We told her it was a late birthday present. She opened it and said, "Aww" because at first glance she thought it was just a picture of us and then once it registered her casual "aww" turned into an excited "Ahhh!!" At that point Michael's dad became interested in the gift and they both knew they would be welcoming their 13th grandchild :)

My mom reacted pretty much the same way whereas my dad just casually smiled. Turns out he practically knew already: Since I'm still covered under his insurance, he could see I was going to the doctor more frequently. But, to his credit, he didn't mention anything to anyone or even badger us about it until we were ready to announce it.

We joke that this was our first family photo-shoot because I was 5 weeks pregnant during it:

  Oh yeah, check out the early-pregnancy bloat. The first time someone asked me if I was pregnant she said, "Are you pregnant? Because you're starting to show."
I was only 10 weeks.
And bloated.
And mortified.
That was the beginning of a string of comments that would come to pepper every day of my pregnancy, ranging from "If you're this big now, what are you going to look like when you're about to deliver?" "Are you sure you're not due til January because you look like you're about to pop."
I should seriously write a book titled "What NOT to Say to Pregnant Women." I would become rich and people would gain some common sense. Win-win? :)

18 weeks

22 weeks

26 weeks

30 weeks

Overall, the pregnancy has been far easier than I could have imagined. The first trimester, I experienced some nausea--mainly without actually throwing up--and some slight food aversions to most vegetables and tuna. By the second trimester, any and all nausea was gone and I only rarely experienced feelings of fatigue. At the start of my third trimester I found out through the glucose screen that I had developed gestational diabetes. Going in to the pregnancy, I knew I was at risk because doctors diagnosed me as pre-diabetic in my teens. I continued to exercise regularly and cut out refined sugar from my diet but sometimes, regardless of what you do, genetics win. It's easily managed through checking my blood glucose four times a day and since I was so strict with my diet from the beginning, adaptation has not been difficult and it wasn't necessary to start insulin injections. Theoretically, after the baby is born, I should no longer have GDM and even though doctors told me I would inevitably develop Type II diabetes at some point in my life, my healthy lifestyle choices should help to delay its onset.Through it all, I was able to keep working steadily and continue attending my classes each semester(finishing with a 4.0 GPA even) and Samuel has been healthy so I really couldn't ask for more!

When I found out I was pregnant, I was SO sure it was a girl. In my head I started picturing girlie little onesies and picked out a named (Jade♥) and I even painted a teapot coin bank for "her." So when we went to the ultrasound and found out it was a boy, I was like "Wait, what?" At the same time, I was so excited to have a baby boy and Michael of course was thrilled. He claims he wanted a boy first so he could be the protector of the other siblings, but I still think he just wanted a little buddy to take fishing and play sports :) However, we were drawing blanks in the name department. Week after week, we could not find names that we both agreed on.

18 weeks

For those who don't know, we are going to name our son Samuel Leonardo Johnson. Michael originally wanted Leo as a first name because he just finished a presentation on Leonardo da Vinci, saw the name on a baby naming site called Nymbler (yes Misty, Rachel, and April, I still blame you ;) ) and was instantly hooked. I tried to entertain the thought as Leo as a first name but after a few weeks, I just couldn't do it. Luckily, Michael really liked my first choice (Samuel) so we
compromised with

18 weeks

Leonardo as a middle name. Actually, at one point I really liked the idea of Adam as a middle name because it's Michael's middle name. I thought Michael Adam and Samuel Adam would be really cute, but little did I know that Samuel Adams was a brand of beer. Michael's dad will never let me live it down and I'm sure Samuel will be hearing that story at least once a year ;)

I'm now 35 weeks, he's coming soon and we're so excited to meet him!!

Moving to Main Street Station

Packing up

Faking a smile while I clean

Yeah, yeah, I know this post is a month and a half overdue but its still exciting! Of course we knew that we wanted to get out of our old place but we didn't realize how fast we would be moving. We went to the Main Street Station office to submit an application. We weren't expecting anything soon because they usually have a six month waiting list, but they had an availability!! So we only had a few weeks to pack, move, unpack and "white glove" our old
apartment.

But it was worth all the crazy-rushed work; we love our new apartment!

As small as it is...We have a backyard!

Left side of our kitchen

Right side

First thing you see when you walk through our front door :)

Living room

Our cute yellow complex(We're on the bottom)

The Busy Life

Okay okay, I know I've been on an extended blog absence, but with good reason, right? Having two jobs and going to school full-time is killer. And I mean killer. Between my schedule and Michael's schedule, we didn't really get to see each other much. And if we did see each other, most of it was spent doing homework side by side on the couch. I know, so romantic, right? ;)

However, now that school is over at Burton, I only have one job and full-time school. I was so unprepared for how hard it would hit me when the last day came. This whole time I kept telling Michael it would be so much easier once my elementary job was done, I would have so much more time on my hands. So with this I-want-it-to-be-over-with mentality, I never even stopped to realize how much I was going to miss it until the last day when I had to constantly keep myself from becoming a basket-case. I miss my kids.

For next year, I won't be returning to Burton Elementary School as an aide for the First Grade. The School District cut the funding so that position is no longer available. I was offered two different job positions at Burton, but I turned them both down. Long story short, I knew the school didn't want to let me go, but I felt like I wasn't the most qualified for either of these jobs, and I didn't want to cheat the students.

We went to the Tautphaus Zoo in Idaho Falls. I can't post pictures of the students, but here's some animals:

 Flamingo

 My favorite :)

Beautiful!

Unfortunately, my camera died so I didn't get a lot of pictures. Oh well :)

Out of all my goodbye  presents, this was my favorite:

 

 Inside it's filled with Rolos. Isn't it stinkin cute? The student saw it on pinterest and had his mom help him ;)

And I was waiting until after school was over to dye my hair because I didn't want to change right at the end. So now, after 3 years, my hair is back to it's natural color!

In other news, we are moving! Let me just repeat that for emphasis:
WE ARE MOVING!!!!!!! :D
We found this awesome place on the same street as Broulims. More to come in my next post :)

The 'Emma Dilemma'

So it's been a little while since I've made a post. Still, I seem to have a lot more accountability with my 'journal writing' when I do it in the form of blogs, especially with those people who so graciously remind me that I haven't made a post in a while. ;)

Where to begin? First, I subbed for a first grade class. No, not that I taught like usual when there's another teacher there or had to take over the class when the other subs would get lost, but it was actually me.

 Like I was it, man. 

So, what happened was the day started out as normal when the teacher I work with found out her daughter broke her arm and had to go to the hospital. So she asked me to sub for the class. Of course I accepted because I was getting paid and I wouldn't want to say no in her time of need. She cleared it with the principal which seems crazy because I am not a certified teacher; in fact, I have less college experience than the BYU-I students that I train when they come in for their Early Field Experience, yet here I was in charge of a whole class of 27 students for the day. To top it off, at the beginning when one of the BYU-I students was there, I had to evaluate her with the rubric from the Teacher Evaluation Form. The day went by pretty smoothly, despite the surprise fire drill that was sprung upon the school (to make sure we were on our toes?). And it feels good knowing that I can do it.

I love my job at Burton Elementary School. It is such an incredible blessing. To make things even better, the principal has been trying to get the Education Department at BYU-I to give me class credit for my job. So I went in and had a meeting with one of the Directors and introduced myself as Emma Johnson. Later as he was conversing with the principal there was some confusion as to if the person he talked to was the same "Emily Johnson" who was on the payroll at the Elementary School. It was quickly cleared up, but still.

For. the. record.

I was born as Emily Kylie Schmidt. As I grew up, I went by a few nicknames that people would call me (Mily, Em, etc..) About seven years ago my little sister started calling me Emma. I quickly loved the nickname and was happy when a few others in Washington followed suit. When I was applying for college it asked for my preferred name and my little sister, of course, insisted that I put Emma. Little did I know that by doing so, my name would automatically change to 'Emma' Schmidt on every list/roll my name would be on at BYU-I. So, I went by that name and it was fine by me. 

Until I came back to Washington on my off-track. 

Holy cow, you'd have thought I'd changed my name to Sheni'quah and dyed my hair neon purple. Some people honestly flipped. I was getting all kinds of interrogations about "trying to change my identity" and "denying my true self'". Seriously, people? It's just a nickname. 

Rant over ;)

In other news, Michael and I are both going to be starting up classes again in two weeks. We even managed to get a class together which will be fantastic because between our two schedules we will hardly ever see each other. But maybe we can sit next to each other in the library as we write our reports or something. Oh didn't I mention? Someone in our apartment complex was illegally downloading something or other so everyone's internet in Lexington is indefinitely cut off. Blessing in disguise? Who knows. We're still debating on whether or not to renew our contract in August. Maybe losing our internet will be the thing that convinces us to leave. We shall see :)

Living in Lexington

You know how things can start out seeming so great and then, somehow slowly, they're not? Such is the case for Lexington Apartments. When we first moved in six months ago, I was ecstatic (Michael, Jeremy and Sarah can vouch). It seemed so wonderful to me. Okay, given that it's only the second place that Michael and I have lived since we got married. The first was in Walla Walla, a small little sublet from Whitman College housing. I wish I had taken more pictures of the place because I don't think I'll be able to paint an accurate picture of how small our first home for two months was. You'd walk in and directly to your left was the bedroom with a slanted roof and entry way. I thought it was really kind of neat but Michael had to stoop every time he went in. The bathroom was right next to the kitchen and the door opened out so whenever someone came out they would bump someone else in the kitchen and the kitchen was so small that when the door was open, it blocked the entire entry way. Did I mention that doorknob on the bathroom was lower than normal so Michael would have to bend to open it? Again, totally accessible for me, not so great for him. He would joke and say the apartment was "Emma-sized" That's what happens when you married someone a foot apart in height from you ;)

And then there was our small living room and pantry/closet/place where the refrigerator was? Yeah, it was basically a room where the builders thought, "Oh dang, we forgot to put these things in, lets just stuff everything into one small room."

 Of course, at the time I never thought anything of it because I was just so excited to have my own place with my husband that was just ours. When we first moved here, I was so thrilled because even though to most everybody it would seem small, it seemed so BIG compared to our first place. I mean for goodness sake, Michael didn't have to bend down to open doors, we had a closet in our bedroom and we had a shower AND bathtub! (Not a big deal to most, but a luxury when you've gone without) And I would never trade Lexington to go back to our first place, but its just that...well, let me illustrate:

First of all, we have a very overly-sensitive smoke detector. Basically anytime you cook something in the oven, it goes off. Michael and I have become old-pros at getting it to turn off, its actually rather amusing, but I'm like, "Come on! The neighbors are going to think we burn everything we make!" I'm not that bad of a cook, (except for one time, but that's a story for another day ;])

Second, the only bathroom in our apartment is in our bedroom. Not a big deal, right? Convenient, right? Okay, maybe convenient for us but we are kind of like the 'Rexburg Rest Stop.' We have had so many people stay at our place which I LOVE because it's so much fun, but I feel like our apartment setup is such an inconvenience to them. Like if they need to use the bathroom they feel weird going in through our room especially if we are already going to sleep. So either we're getting woken up in the middle of the night or they are holding their pee for eight hours. (I hope no one actually did that...)

Oh, and then there's our neighbors.To be fair, I guess I can't actually blame that on Lexington because crazy people can live anywhere, right? Luckily we are on the end of the floor so we have the least amount of neighbors possible, but we still have them on one side and under us. First there's the ones on our side. They are (for lack of a better word) weird. Should I be generous and say 'good weird'? Maybe. Is there such a thing as being overly friendly? Like before we even know each other trying to be part of every aspect of our lives. You might think that I'm talking about the wife, but I'm talking about the husband. He will randomly pop by with some excuse and then invite himself to stay and do whatever we are doing. He says it always sounds like the party is at our apartment. To this day we still don't know his name.

But we'll take whats's-his-name over our downstairs neighbors. We have friends over quite a bit and one day out of the blue our on-site apartment manager popped by saying that she'd received a complaint call from our downstairs neighbors about us. Luckily, the manager was very nice about the whole situation(it is Rexburg, after all). However, I was so irritated! I mean, given, sometimes we can get loud when we're playing games, but to not even say a word to us before calling up the manager? So, against Michael's protests I marched on down to their apartment and confronted them about it. I said if they had a problem they should've come to us first. And instead of discussing the issue, they completely pansied out saying that they had no problem with us and we were totally fine. Which should make me happy, I guess, but I hate it when people are nice to your face but mean behind your back. They haven't complained about us since.

So, could I have a worse living situation? Very much so, yes. And I am extremely blessed to have the home that I have with my wonderful husband. I love having all these experiences that come with being a newlywed. Will I look back on this in 5 years and laugh? Definitely. In fact, I'm laughing right now :)